My Type of Film :-)

Before Shabbos Shuvah, I received in the mail a DVD of the movie Arranged; which I actually ordered a couple of months ago; but mysteriously never received. The reason why it came up on my radar again is that I was trying to compile some films for the new pledges of my sorority to watch and write about. In the last semester of my BA program, I actually took a film class on diversity in American films. My final paper was a survey of films that featured Orthodox Jews in America. Pity I did not see this film then, because most of those films were underwhelming.

Well the premise here has the potential to fall down very flat; a religious Jewish woman and a religious Muslim woman become friends...against all the odds. It is almost too cliche. But maybe it helped -- no, it definitely helped that the writer of the screenplay for this movie is an Orthodox Jew herself. I actually saw these women as real people and not caricatures. I did not have to sit through any rudimentary demonstrations of "look at how different and odd these people are". Nope; you just got right to the nitty-gritty of the situation. Two young women who are co-workers in New York, going through similar phases in life and relating to each other.

I was also pleasantly surprised at the multi-dimensional presentation of both Rochel and Nasira; I mean it could have been very easy to portray them as two goody-goodies living in a sinful society and have that be the end of it. However Nasira is shown to be quite a spitfire of a personality who speaks her mind. Rochel on the other hand is much more shy...even a bit unsure of herself. However I could completely see these women being friends in real life. They quickly discern that they have much more in common with each other than they do with any of the other people around them.

Of course no movie is perfect and movies featuring Orthodox Jews seem to often fall in this "not perfect" category. I could find very little in the way of redeeming qualities in Rochel's family. The dynamics of life in a frum family came through very poorly in this movie. The father seemed to have no personality and no opinions and really no point. The mother played the part of a token Jewish wife; but displayed little real motherly warmth, caring or consideration. At least there was some irony in that Mimi Lieber (who played Rochel's mother), is pretty olive-toned and if you would have thrown a hijab on her, she could have also played Nasira's mother. Of course no one in Rochel's family was too sympathetic to her befriending a Muslim woman. In fact her little brother made racist remarks so often, all you could do is hope he was joking (even though his tone of voice did not suggest this).

I was biased as a viewer and the movie was also biased from the screenplay - as centering more on the Orthodox Jewish side of the spectrum. Of course I did not mind this. But I did long for just a little bit more exposure into the daily/family life of a religious Muslim family. Of course, that would have made the movie into something a-la network mini-series and who has time for all of that? But I was so smitten with Nasira's character; I wanted her to by my friend. Like the type of chic you can really have fun hanging out with (maybe she is the Muslim version of me). She doesn't use her religion to hide behind and be apologetic for her personality. On the other side of the coin, I was quite surprised by Rochel's brief sojourn with her off the derech cousin Leah. Of course the whole scene with them at the party was incredibly cliche (blatant drug use, lasciviousness, irreverrant non-religious Jews, etc.); but it did convey the message that a person's choice to be religious is no more nutty or insane than the choice that some people make to live other types of lives.

I use to have this small goal of owning all of the Jamaican films I could. Now I might have to change this to Orthodox Jewish films. Just like the Jamaican films, there are some real duds. However it is very interesting to be on the outside looking in for a change. However I don't know if the most suitable audience for this film, Orthodox Jewish women, would even be interested in watching it based on the seemingly campy premise. They might even think that there is some sort of political agenda (yes, the conflicts between Israelis and Palestinians were mentioned...but as an offhanded remark by schoolchildren). It is really a shame because Arranged presents a really good opportunity to see religious Muslims functioning outside of the stereotype often presented to the frum community.

Religious Intolerance

Well my website (which isn't even live) was hacked sometime over the weekend by the Moroccan Defender's of Islam (nope, that's not my site -- I fixed my site). I wonder if Islam has any concept of a "chillul Hashem"? Not to mention the strange name. Why must Islam be defended? And how does hacking my website help to defend Islam? Unless you just want to give some visibility to your cause. But you would probably get more exposure holding up some signs downtown during mid-day.

Despite these annoyances, I don't really feel the inherent ill will towards Arabs. I do not sympathize with them, and I think they have a lot to answer for to Hashem. But other than that, I don't cook up this inner hatred of them. I understand that the Arabs are a modern day tsuris to the Jews; but before them it was the Xtians. I also understand that living in Israel and seeing the day to day hardships tolerated just because the Palestinians are not happy is very, very trying. However, I cannot sink to treat or to think of any other group in a way that I would loathe to be treated or thought of.

Maybe that is a "problem" -- coming from a totally different group and trying, in adulthood, to align yourself with a new group. Currently, you may be totally assimilated into your new community. But you never forget (unless you amnesia I guess) what life was like for you "before". You don't feel like you are still a part of it (in my case, I wasn't really a part of anything), but you do remember what it felt like to "not" be what you currently are. In the case of Jews, this is a group of people who have never had it easy. Even today, when there are few, widespread physical threats to the Jewish People, we are now battling psychological battles with assimilation and possessing an inferiority status.

Back to the intolerance thing; I wonder what percentage of observant Jews in diaspora are good friends with any Muslims? I have two members on the national board of my sorority who are Muslim; one is Serbian, the other is Indian. I didn't know this (they aren't very religious) until both had to miss something due to a holiday. But even if they were religious, as long as I didn't hear any anti-semitic, racist dogma being revealed, I can not really see myself not being friends with them. I was also pretty humoured by how many Arab men in Florida had no issue dating Jewish women. I am pretty sure it did not go the other way around, but I remember while being out with a group of Jewish girlfriends (from my Reform days), they used to flirt a bit and then we would reveal that we were Jewish. They were hardly phased.

8 years ago, I remember that the College of Engineering (where I worked) at WVU hosted some sort of event that involved food. There was this stuff that tasted heavenly...it was like spiced ground meat in a pastry-type filling. It was made by the wife of a student who was a White man from WV who converted to Islam. I was still hoping to convert to [Reform] Judaism, so I was just in awe of how he made such a drastic change himself. I was pretty green back then, but I was very clear about my interest in Judaism and both he and his wife (who was born Muslim) seemed very encouraging - sharing their experiences as well. I don't know..maybe they were green too.

Judaism classically teaches that there is more than one path to righteousness (as long as you stay within the 7 mitzvot for Bnei Noach; although I am confused as to rather or not adherants to other faiths can ever, truly be "good" Bnei Noach). Yet Jews seem to have a pretty low opinion of those who are not Jewish; while at the same time being half-apologetic for practicing Judaism. I guess that is why I really enjoy Y. Sofer in Eretz Yisrael, because he really practices Judaism like it's the best thing since sliced bread. There was a story he told regarding trying to make a kosher suedah in Jamaica sometime in the 1970s. Shaare Shalom brought in kosher meat from Miami, only to have the Jews of the congregation cook it in the old treif pots. "Dis 'ere a BASIC kashrus man! Unnu nah have one lick a sense; pyre vegatable and fish ya haffe nyam affa righta now, you nah seyit?"

Being a Torah observant Jew is not easy, but I wonder if there were a slight (just a slight) shift in attitude, that one aspect, the relationship with our non-Jewish neighbors, improve. This is not about extending the olive branch. It's more about seeing the humanity present all around us. I don't know if it's because I'm a convert-in-training or what the story is, but my old non-Jewish co-workers used to flock to me for any sort of Jewish question that popped into their minds. I would rather they have not did this, because there were plenty of other Jews around they could have asked; but somehow that didn't happen. Some were good questions...like "What's the difference between Sukkot, Sukkas and Shabbas?"...and then some were ridiculous like "Do Jews really have sex with a sheet between them?". As weird and awkward as all of that was, I would like to think that Jewish people lost a bit of their "alien status" and just a bit more understanding was established there. Now I have a new job with one co-worker who wears a "Jesus is my King" type t-shirt every other day and two other co-workers who have pastors in their immediate families and discuss the latest revival events. I am hoping no round of questions come my way this time...but it may be inevitable.

I guess that's ok; as long as I can ask questions about their religions as well.