Waving What Flag?

****Disclaimer: I may inadvertantly offend, show my ignorance, and/or hurt some people with what I say in this post. I apologize in advance!****

I really wanted some more time to research and look into this topic before writing about it - but who am I kidding? I don't have time to even cook myself dinner on most nights. So what if my ignorance shows? (Hence by "disclaimer" given above...)

In a nutsell, I guess this post is about policts ("politricks"), but since I don't get too excited about polictical rants in any depth, I don't see myself presenting my own rant. Let's just say that "I'm exploring". Just like with my official philosophic stand within Judaism. However, I never knew that the two aspects of my life would collide.

While looking into the Satmars, I found some more concrete information on religious Jews who oppose Zionism. Just being on the site sent me a shiver. Not because of the topic; I'll read anything and try to respect it; but because my community is very Zionistic. My shul recites prayers for the State of Israel on Shabbos - the one I go to mainly (the other one, which is headed by an Agudath Israel Rav curiously does not include these prayers). And I have sensed (if not heard) comments from some of these religious Zionists which borders on racism - where they regard the Arabs/Palestinians as children of evil incarnate.

Not that I have any questions as to who I support. I truly desire for Israel to be successful overall because it is the home to millions of Jews. But....but.....but....

Don't ask me to erase my experiences, what I am, and what I know.

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Look at Israel. It used to be Palestine - and it used to be British. I am convinced that the British have the "Midas Touch" in gross reverse. They seem to curse every land they stumble upon. Let's look at the roster here: India, Jamaica, South Africa (a real winner there), Hong Kong, Israel, and the good ol' U.S. of A. What!? That's right, I said it. Selective memory will have us forget that our precious "Sweet Land of Liberty" was the haven for the most atrocious form of organized slavery in recorded history and the poster child of hypocrisy to the rest of the world. We make the Canadians look like boy scouts! So perhaps the old "Birds of a feather flock together" applies in our allegiance to Israel.

Now I'm not ready to put a sticker on my head just yet.

Let's look at this fiasco that occured with Ariel Sharon and his buddies. Of course my overall stance is that, "Hashem controls it all", no matter who's in power, a man is just a man. The hurt from the relgious Zionists was real when Sharon, someone who was a big proponent of new settlements beyond pre-'67 borders, changed his tune and handed this land back to the Palestinians. Perhaps this is just the kick that Hamas needed to win the elections. Is this what Sharon anticipated - even in "worse-case scenario" thoughts? Will we ever know at this point?

Now for the relgious Zionists, the future is hazy with a thick fog. But why is it not always that way? Why do we think we can beat out our own destiny? Not that we should sit back and be the whipping boy. Given the circumstances fueled by the Holocaust, the establishment of the State of Israel saved countless lives. That cannot be denied. Perhaps that is why Hashem willed that the "State" even come into existence. I mean if G-d is in control of it all, and if he didn't want Israel to be established before the coming of Moshiach then it wouldn't have happened and 1/3 of the world's Jews would be living in Uganda right now.

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Denying what has happened is one thing; endorsing wrong behavior is another. Blame my polictically-left leanings, but I found the site If American Knew quite interesting. Without a doubt, all the statistics only tell a portion of the story; but lets revisit the whole idea of "selective history" again. 60 years ago, Britain did not give a rat's ass (excuse my French) about the well-being of their denizens in Palestine and what would happen to them in a state controlled by the Israelis. Not to get into specifics, I'll leave it at that - but let me just blurb about something that may really hit close to home.

The thought that Jews are somehow inherently better than other human beings is probably the notion that just does not resonate with me - and probably never will. It is beyond "racism" but along the lines of a haughtiness that counters the core tenets of the Torah. Listen closely kids, but every man and woman alive is a precious jewel in the eyes of the creator. Now the Torah is a key; a key that if used the right way, contains uspeakable rewards. But guess what, anyone alive is free to take hold of that key, and just because you hold the key does not mean you know how to use it or get inside the door.

I do not mean to pick on the religious Zionists; if you think there are no Satmars who feel they are somehow inherently superior to whoever, I invite you to spend a week in Williamsburg the next time you go to Brooklyn (true, you'll have to brush up on your Yiddish first). But any banter about Jews being blameless is inherently wrong. Everyone, you, me, Jew, non-Jew, Asian, White, have things about our mindset that are our downfall. And because we are limited by our faults sometimes we just can't get past them. Especially if you don't see any problems with your current mindset.

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What can I say except that I choose not to be blind to injustice and dogma that sanctions abuse to other people. I am not pro-terriorist. I am all about finding Osama and stringing him up on a pole. I don't empathize with suicide bombers and I'm not going to go see Paradise Now . I heart that saying that "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything". But how about just being able to say, "Hey, what you stand for just does not resonate with me". Who knows, maybe I'll be introduced to something or learn something that will sway me more one way than the other (as has happened with my American political leanings to be a Democratic Socialist although I don't agree with about 1/4 of their platform). But I have to hand it to the Orthodox Jews who speak out against Zionism. The early Zionists were anti-relgion and worse yet anti-Torah. Perhaps the obvious shortcomings of the state is what is needed to show that an Israel established by Jews and not by Hashem just will not work like clockwork. Daily I pray for peace and for a cessation of the bloodshed for both Jews and Palestinans. Sooner better than later.

Leave It To CNN

Someone passed on to me a link to a video CNN made on the Satmar chassidim. While my friend was infuriated with the short, my own personal whe more of "ho-hum" annoyance.

But then again, my expection for the media to give an accurate protrayal of chassidic Jews is about as high as my expection of us discovering life on Venus.

My community is not chassidic by any means; but using the Chassidim as a model for "fundamentalist religion gone wrong" is getting really old. How about discussing far more disturbing issues like complaints of indecency being filed against major networks. I mean, this is something that effects the viewer directly; not a random Satmar who decided to leave behind the tradition he was born into.

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I am tempted to start listing the accolades of the Satmar and other Chassidim, but I will refrain (since I would probably do an injustice anyway). Instead, I just say that we all have different pieces that come together and make us into the person we are. With some of us, the traditions and ways of our family makes up a big part of who were are - with others, this is not the case. I think of my Grandmother for example, whose parents were East Indian Hindus but she learned none of the language, did not wear the "garb", and did not feel the need to marry within the Indo-Caribbean community exclusively. There are also people where the personality is what pushes them to the forefront - like Madonna. Now I never looked into her ancestral background, but I think it's pretty safe to say that none of her forefathers/mothers led a life anywhere close to the one she currently lives. The final factor is the environment we come into. Phyllis Wheatly immediately comes to mind - because here you have an African slave who was brought up in White American environment and educated as such. Now why in the world would a person born to two Satmar parents be exempt from this phenomenon?

None of us are automatons. In the video, Heschy talked about how the chassidim don't see movies or TV. Ok. My Grandmother is a Pentocostal X-tian and also has never seen a movie (in the theater at least) in her life (she has also never worn pants). And I don't have a TV. Does that make us fundamentalists? And doesn't the reason behind the action count for anything? I mean who would highlight someone who is just so poor, that they cannot afford to by a TV. No one. But if you say that they choose not to watch TV because of the negative influences of most of the programming - that's somehow not normal? What ever happened to respect for other people's standards and freedom of religion?

I almost laughed out loud when the woman with the dark hair (I don't remember her name) said "That in the Satmar community...if you don't conform....you have a very hard time". Well guess what Charley? Growing up as a young Black girl who read Edgar Allan Poe for fun, would wear Fred Perry's instead of Karl Kani or Cross Colors, and didn't know all the lyrics to the latest Tupac song, I had a hard time too! That's just normal in any social situation where you don't "behave as expected". They were also way off track when they said "Satmar's feel their Judaism is the only form of legitimate Judaism. Perhaps they are mixing the Satmar's up with the Neturei Karta , and even there, the dispute is over acceptance of certain concepts and not the the halachaic distinction of who is and isn't a Jew. I mean, all Orthodox Jews are that way to a degree. If they did not feel legitmacy in "their" flavor of Judaism then they wouldn't be practicing it (or they are prevented by some ulterior reason of not changing).

They curiously glossed over the fact that Heschy is still Torah-observant. Did they fail to dig just a tiny bit deeper to see that in even the "Modern Orthodox" movement, women wear skirts? Why did they not highlight the "freakishness" of the fact that Heschy doesn't touch a light switch on Shabbos? How about not eating a bagel with cream cheese 3 hours after you ate a piece of chicken. I mean, aren't those actions more "odd" than encouragement to get married at a young age?

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Bottom line is, "Nice try CNN, but you came significantly short of the goal line". Unfortunately, CNN assumes both ignorance and intolerance from the majority of their viewers. Even if it's true, thumbs down on playing on the fact. Remember when punk rockers used to make the news? Not so anymore, because now just about everyone has a "Cousin Joey" somewhere in the family that shaved his hair into a mohawk. Better yet, how about the club-hoppers? Popping pills, getting wasted, and having one-night stands weekend after weekend seems to me, in my own humble opinion, a lot more dysfunctional than the life of a Satmar Jew.

CNN needs to stick with what they do best; follow the President around, show pictures from far-away of bombs going off, and showing graphs of the GNP that no one understands. By publicizing misconstrued stories of people many Americans would never meet anyway just dupes the Average Joe into thinking he's knowledgeable about cultures other than his own. And we really don't need any more Charles Murrays on the scene.

Don't Get Too Comfortable

There's a war going down between my brothers tonight,I don't want no war going down, going down tonight.

Stop this war
Stop this war....

All so different yeah, I say we're all the same
All caught, you know, in the division game.
Self destruction fast impending like a bullet.
No one can stop it, once it's fired, no one can control it... (from Operation Ivy's "Unity")

There are so many issues that grab my attention in day-to-day living. However, one has come up a lot recently. Reading stories in the Florida Jewish News about Israelis rioting against their neighbors because the children wear knitted kippot, this Abramhoff guy, and discussions on e-mail lists about the Rosh Yeshiva in Lakewood going off the deep end. It all comes back to unity. I think I said before that while these situations are few and far between, as a newcomer to Judaism, these situations are distressing.

On Motzei Shabbos Shemos, Rabbi Y. Reisman spoke about "emulating Hashem". One of the keys is that when someone wrongs you, do not only resist holding a grudge, but stick your neck out to help that person. He gave the example of when a Yid eats treif, Hashem does not turn his back on him from that time on (not that this is encouragement to eat treif, he is just saying...). If anything, when you have been wronged, and embarrassed; you should see it as an opportunity to do chessed and a mitzvah. If only I had heard this only 24 hours prior...

Last Shabbos, there were two instances where I just could not wrap my mind around things that were being said to me. This past Shabbos, I had to step out of my regular routine. I usually get showered and dressed, then bentch licht, and head straight for shul. But I was running late, so I bentch licht first, then got dressed, and decided to go to the shul next door (not my regular shul) to catch the tail end of davening.

This shul had an oneg Shabbat lecture. I usually forgo these things, but since I was doing dinner solo, I thought it might be nice to attend instead of just heading straight to bed. While waiting for the lecture to begin, this man comes up to me, and right after saying "Hello," progresses to ask, "Are you Jewish?". For a minute, I thought this man was going to ask me to leave or something, but I read surprise more than sterness in his expression, and felt better when he decided to sit and address me. I did not lie; I explained that I have not converted yet, and I usually attend the shul a couple blocks away. After a bit of small-talk, he again went into non-comfortable territory by saying, "Wow, I don't believe I'm talking to a Black woman who knows so much about Judaism!"

The next afternoon, after walking home from a lunch invation, a woman greeted me with a "Good Shabbos" and paused for conversation. She asked if I was new to the community and where I lived. Although it took 2 minutes longer, she also asked 'those' sort of questions, "Did your family convert? Are you doing this all by yourself". I told her I've lived on my own for a while, and yes, I was converting 'by myself'. She then proceeded to lament, "Oh your family must be beside themselves! I mean you were born Black, and now you are making yourself Jewish too! People will hold two strikes against you. It is going to be very difficult for you!" This time however, I was in a position to counter. I told her, "Anyone who finds a problem with me on the basis of race or religion is doing themself more of a disservice than they are doing to me. Hashem sees our neshamot first and foremost. Hashem knows my intentions and I do what makes me the happiest. What anyone else feels really has no significance." Her response was, "Well as long as you are happy. Stay happy."

Both of these individuals were 50+; although I don't know if that is an indicator of anything in that younger Jews could harbor the same thoughts, but just not have the chutzpah to voice them. Now in both of these situations, I was not upset or offended. Such comments truly seem silly in my eyes. However, my feelings aside, I am worried for the future and priorities within the Orthodox Jewish community. For example, it's like taking a tiny army who is struggling and fighting for survival; here comes an "outsider" to join their ranks. This outsider is a supreme marksman, but is short and obese. Instead of heralding the gains, you bemoan the "handicap" which, in the larger picture, is really insignificant.

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Rabbi Horowitz wrote a very interesting piece on how some obviously non-frum youth went up to a tzadik for a bracha. Now these are boys who have the piercings, the spiky hair, the hands-on-the-head-because-we-have-no-kippa type. The Rebbe freely blessed them and kissed them. Ok, so I guess that is why he is a tzaddik. But really, can expectations of Klal Yisrael be so low? As a frum Jew, no one is asking that you do backflips on a balance beam. Just hold some consideration for those who happen to exist outside the bubble of your Jewish community.

Of course there is the very real danger of endorsing blatantly goyishe behavior, and to instill pride and a feeling of distinction among Jewish youth. There is also the very real problem of converts who are not kabbalot al mitzvot, but who have made their conversion to Judaism a sham for all involved. But the "fear instinct" should not govern our actions when it comes to dealing with differences. I mean the problem is still there, you don't have to ignore, but you have to behave correctly regardless. For example, everytime you pull out of your driveway in your car, there is the very real danger that your brakes will fail, and that will be the end of life as you know it. Now, you are not naive, you put your seatbelt on, and do maintenance on your vehicle, etc. But the thoughts of the worst are not on your mind as you turn that ignition key.

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In another post, I will write more about the whole "Chosen People" notion, but for now I will say that the "Choseness" is linked to the Torah. The Torah makes it quite clear that the gift of speech given to man by Hashem is our "special connection" to the divine. It is also a huge responsibility. This includes, but goes beyond lashon hara. Speech is the fondation for human emotions and relationships. When you look at animals, they get turned on to their mates by sniffing them. I can't tell you the last time I smelled a guy, and decided I wanted him to be my life partner right then and there. Likewise, when you speak to another person, you can't use words carelessly. You must consider, "What will I be saying implicitly and subliminally? How do my words portray me and my geniune thoughts of this person?". These thoughts should not only come up when speaking to a fellow Jew, but in every instance and relationship a frum Jew encounters.

MLK

Dear Martin,

You don't know me (I was born 11 years after you were killed), but I would like to write this letter to you anyway. It is the least I can do - since the life I enjoy, the choices I can make, and the opportunities that come my way grew out of the foundation that you, as well as the other great civil-rights leaders who came before and after, laid down. No one knows if segregation and legal discrimination would have survived much longer, with or without you. Nonetheless Americans of any race could not have picked a better person to represent and give voice to the oppressed people who received treatment and regards along the same level of animals, right here on our own soil.

You are two years younger than my Grandfather; half of the wonderful couple that raised me. They are your contemporaries. They still hold the utmost respect for you and your actions. You and JFK. More than 40 years after you last saw the light of day, I imagine that their impression of the new millenia would mirror yours a bit. Pride in watching the Oprah Winfrey's and Condolezza Rice's of the country; disdain in seeing the perpetuation of the "loud, rauncy, and Black" stereotype. It took a comedian to bring to my attention that just about every street named in your honor is in the ghetto. And it took me seeing in flesh the most outlandish, wild, malt-liquor induced frenzy held in your honor in Liberty City - Miami, FL (but I've never been to Mardi Gras). But do not get discouraged. For every fool making a bad name for your people, there are 2 children playing in an integrated playground, 1 graduate preparing for their freshmen year at Harvard, a Black surgeon saving someones life.

But all this, you can find out after spending a day or two 'online' (that's what we call using the internet or "World Wide Web" which connects information and people via personal computers). I am sure you would like to hear a little bit about me. What can I say? Originally born in the Pennsylvania, I am now a Floridian. I am also a relgious Jew-in-training (Jew in some circles since I had a Reform conversion). Needless to say, I take particular notice of injustice handed out on superficial bases such as race. Thank goodness I have never in my lifetime been called a nigger, been brutalized by police officers, or prevented from drinking from a water fountain. But I still must combat the myths that all Black men walking on the street at night are criminals, Black people have a lower average I.Q. then their white counterparts, and that nothing good ever came out of the African continent. We are not there yet, but some of us are working on improving the situation.

Americans from all backgrounds have grown either apathetic or increasingly adamant about their self definition. We went from the lecture hall to the Wall Street trading floor. Everyone has a gripe. Jews do not want to be "white", gay people want to be married, and people want pets in their wills. I guess we have bad short term memory. Only 35 years ago, it was illegal in the Commonwealth of Virginia to marry someone of a different race; nonetheless the same gender! One day, we will have a Utopia when moshiach (the messiah) comes, but until then, it feels like American society went on a coke binge and now we are crashing hard. In the wake of all these other "groups" (with valid claims I'm sure), the injustices done to Black people are "written off". We are just too touchy now. Of course it does not help that some of our most visable "leaders" (imposters really) such as Louis Farrakhan and Al Sharpton, seem to have no problem insulting and alienating other minority groups, the Jews especially, that assisted the Black community in dire times.

You and I share two different relgions formally; but I believe you will agree that G-d gives us tests - and he doesn't put to much on us that he knows we cannot bear, right? When you sat in jail, did you entertain doubt that your suffering just did not make a difference? Did it feel like David & Goliath all over again? But still, you found strength from somewhere to pick yourself up, and carry through with your plan. I wonder why we have no public person to do this today - in any arena? Our world leaders sway whichever way pays the most. Our American President speaks half-truths. Our populace thrives on finding the faults in all people of stature.

Even now, Rev. King, you have so many lessons to teach. Although you can no longer walk out in front of the crowd and led us down the street, you proved that humans can change their destiny and be better men. Whether Black, Jewish, female, American, or Iraqi, when you acknowledge the shortcomings of the world in which you live and take actions to correct whatever you see is wrong; that is the foundation of miraculous change.

May we all forward on to Zion under his divine presence; speedily and in this time,

R.

Inspired

This past weekend has truly been a source of special inspiration to me. Rabbi Leff shlita came back to visit his hometown of Miami. I had the privilege of hearing him speak three times.

I guess I will need to reveal a little bit about my neighborhood here before I continue (and what I know is just from talk - I definitely was not there myself!). In the 1960s, my neighborhood had a lot of Jews; but only a few were observant. Most were of the Reform/Conservative variety. As South Florida grew, these Jews out to newer, more developed neighborhoods. Rabbi Leff came in when this change was occuring. On top of that, the Orthodox Jews that were in the area were of the older generation and it was a true battle to keep the younger people coming to the Orthodox shul.

Under Rabbi Leff's guidance, the shul started to revive. Rabbi Leff is a baal teshuva and very "matter-of-fact" about the mitvot. On on hand, he lit a fire under the youth to learn, study, and live Torah amidst a world that was moving increasingly away from observant Judaism. On the other hand, you had the "old school" who were not as machmir as the Rabbi, and just sort of tolerated it all.

How exactly 1 shul turned into 3 is something I don't know all the details about. I heard that the original shul (which is Modern Orthodox now, perhaps even then the kehila was) wanted to slant towards the Zionist side of the spectrum, but Rabbi Leff did not agree on including prayers for Eretz Yisrael in the service. So they broke away to create the shul I mainly go to - Shaarey Tefillah. When Rabbi Leff made aliyah, he appointed Rabbi Bensinger shilta to succeed him; but he was even further "to the right" than Rabbi Left was. So he (along with some others) founded Torah V'Umunah.

Currently, the community is moving towards being overwhelmingly Orthodox. Within the eruv, there are hardly any non-Orthodox Jews left; only the Orthodox and non-Jews. The shul count is now around 7 due to the addition of a Chabad House, non-Lubavitcher Chasidishe shul, and two Sephardic shuls. In some ways, the growing pains are obvious. As the new shuls start, the old ones lose members and money; and the new ones struggle to get "off the ground" and forgo the luxury of legacy. This is what Rabbi Leff came home to. And he joked about it all; with a smile on his face. I could not help but wonder if he could forsee this 20 years ago - when his decisions were met with such opposition. Did he have any idea of the seeds he would be planting?

But I am not writing this entry just to praise Rabbi Leff only (although he certainly deserves it! His humour and candor are one-of-a-kind); for he is a living testament of something bigger. That is the fact that when things happen to us, even if they seem negative at the time, we don't always see the good it can create in the long run. I will not pretend to know what Rabbi Leff was feeling personally when his kehilla decided to fragment off. From accounts of some of those who were there, it was not exactly a friendly split from member to member (synagogue politics is usually "involved"; I can only imagine what is would be like when some members want to break away and form a new shul!). But by looking around to those who came to see the Rabbi speak; they came from all the shuls. And the Rabbi had nothing but satisfaction on his face when hearing and seeing all that was going on locally. If I could bottle the contentment of Rabbi Leff, that would be the only satisfactory way to convene his attitude towards his base community.

This further convinces me of the strength that lies in the unity of Klal Yisrael. Different minhagim should not create a stance of being at odds. Sephardic food is good, take the recipe; the Chassidim have a wealth of lessons to convey, read them and learn; the secular Jews love to fundraise Israeli orphans, help them out. Know your own way, and be proud of it. If you catch strife for sticking to your guns, don't feel bad. Someone, rather it be your children, your community, or your parents will be strengthened. It took more than 100 for Black Americans to get equal rights; can you imagine what life would be like for me if in the 1920s, the Black Americans gave up hope and said, "You know what; White people are right. We are inferior!". I shudder to think about it. Because a certain Black man in South Carolina stood up to the KKK and got lynched is why I have the life that I have today. This is what Rabbi Leff said loud and clear to NMB this past Shabbos without those specific words ever being uttered from his mouth.

Chag Sameach! (Courtesy of Chabad)

Ok, so I've been thinking about how to write this post for about 3 hours (not exclusively, I've been doing other things as well). Again, I must re-iterate, that I am a "newbie" to Orthodox Jewish living. I did not grow up with any influence one way or the other; I'm just learning as I go along.

Chanukah is now over; and I must say that I was sad to see it go. As I lit the eighth candle with the menorah aflame - I started wondering why we didn't side with Rabbi Shammai? (To half the 'climax' of Chanukah be the first day, with 8 candles lit and then work backwards from there). I went into the chag thinking, "Feh, Chanukah - a minor festival for traditional Jews!" and the simple two flames on the window sill only reinforced this.

This was my first recitation of Al Hanisim and the other Chanukah brachot, so the first night felt awkward. Also it was X-mas, so it felt especially plain. On the second night of Chanukah, the Chabad next to my office threw a Chanukah bash. It was very entertaining and was good to see. The crowd was mainly Israeli so it had an air of sophisticate to it. On the 5th night of Chanukah, (yikes, I feel as if I should be singing a song) I saw Avraham Fried perform which was sponsored by the Chabad in Hallandale. That was also great, with the bleachers filled with Jews from (most) persuasions. I then had some livety in my own community that was not directly related to the holiday. Back to Chanukah stuff, on the last night, I went to see the Moshav Band who was sponsored by HCS Chabad. It was a great show and a lot of fun; and as they lit the angular tradmark Chabad menorah high atop the building I was thinking - "Yes!"

It's hard to convey my true opinions without sounding hopelessly corny; but I was so appreciative of these things that were provided and made available to the Jews in South Florida by Chabad. Now unlike the "major" yontifs, Chanukah has no work limitations (which almost always includes driving) and for someone in my position who has no Jewish family to celebrate these moments in the Jewish calendar with, these community events are vital.

But is everything coming up roses here? In South Florida we are blessed to have a strong Lubavitch presence. I can not honestly say that the other shuls and organizations did not also provide festivities for Chanukah - that would be an outright lie. However many of these events were not things that a non-shul member could readily find out about or even events where I would enjoy myself (such as a child-oriented "Chanukah fair" that was sponsored by my shul). So Chabad came in to fill that void.

Those who are converting/converts or are baaley teshuvah past the age of 22 (out of college) are drawn to Chabad for these reasons. And yes, it does make some Jews clear their throat. Just in case you may be scratching your head, despite the numbers, Chabad is not exactly "mainstream" Judaism. Some Lubavitchers believe that Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneersohn (may his memory be blessed) is the moshiach. These meschichists are singled out as the black sheep of Orthodox Jewry. There are also those who cite arrogance from Chabad on other kiruv issues where they would "pick and choose" which Jews to bring into their ranks.

Who can pretend to know the ways of Hashem? Of course I will not condone any sort of belief that the moshiach has come; just like I will not condone any sort of belief that European culture is superior to others. But this goes on. Do I throw my nose up in indignance at America because there are White-Supremists who also call themselves American? Hashem sees fit to rain blessings on Chabad for their efforts - who am I to judge?

Of course we should have our opinions; we should cite improper behavior when it is done (yes, this applies to the Jews in Israel who humiliate those who desecrate Shabbos - Who died and put you on the Sanhedrin?); and yes we have the right to support who we please. But while the bad is obvious, why is the good so hard to see? What happens to the child who only hears criticism and no praise? What happens to those who are new to Orthodox life who hear disdainful remarks about fellow Orthodox Jews thrown around?

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Let's switch the focus over to kiruv and hashgafa. I think what made that last night of Hanukah for me was when the Rabbi got on stage at Revolution and suggested that the crowd "separate the dancing a bit" between the guys and the girls. Now he said this in the most gracious way possible. It was received wonderfully by the crowd. They obliged, and finally I could let loose (within limits of course!). Now this is how I feel comfortable as a "religious" person. Going out and proudly being myself instead of hiding behind a label. In the force of numbers, you don't have to compromise but rather you can reinforce your practices. Bring the kosher food along, pass out the bottles of Budweiser and huddle together with the "kippas" on one side and the "skirts" on the other. Chabad seems to be experts at accomplishing this in the most surprising of settings.

I also must give props to Aish HaTorah and Ohr Somayach; but they are not nearly as accessible as Chabad is. And it's not that Lubavitcher Chassidim are so great; it is that Judaism is so great. The seeds for this ahavas for Klal Yisrael is taught to all Jews. Yet somehow we get caught up in non-important details like where you/your parents are from, what yeshiva you went to, if your hair is blonde, and if so, are the parents converts? Such pas nischt for Jews to do this to their own! As a Black women, I get a bit of a break in the Chabad Houses (and other outreach organizations is South Florida) because many who mosey in include Hispanic and "ethnic-looking" Israelis. With the mainstream shuls, the initial reaction is a bit more chilly (there are two exceptions to this rule I have experienced however). It is a shame that it is not the other way around.

I guess the point I'm trying to make, but sort of failing at, is that we should take Chabad as a "look and learn" opportunity. I am fine* with my current community and it suits me just fine - but a hefty "yasher koach" to the Chabad Rabbonim in South Florida who brought some Chanuakah magic home to a single aspiring ger-toshav who was a welcome recipient of it all.

* - Orthodox Jewish custom is that the woman takes on the minhag of her husband; so this may change if 1) I convert successfully and may change yet again if 2)I am ever blessed to get married.