A Jew, Is A Jew, Is A Jew

It has been 9 days since Danny breathed his last. I remember I was late finding out that a local South Florida resident was victimized on April 17th. I was in Pittsburgh; and Pittsburgh news of course gave a blurb about the bombing; but did not note those involved. I remember when I did find out, I thought that he would surely pull through. So young, such a great spirit, our neighbor! Ok, so Weston is not exactly down the street from me. I've heard that the community out there is thriving. Chabad set up shop and they even built a mikveh. Danny and his family were conscious Jews. Everyone one had Danny on their Tehillim and Refueh Sh'liema list. Terrorism in Israel had hit even closer here, but we were doing the right thing. Very good.

So on Sunday, when the local news preluded the feature with, "...and now, some sad news on a local South Florida teen injured in a suicide bombing in Israel...", I knew right away. A flat 'Baruch Dayan Emes' was uttered by me. I tried to find some emotion but felt pretty empty at that point. Like it was some sort of dream...

9 days after hearing the news of Danny's death, I have finally decided to think about it; blog about it. Why? Who am I? I did not know Danny. I am not the best champion of any cause. In 13 days, I leave for Eretz Yisrael myself, and terrorism is the last thing I want to be thinking about (but hey, it's never healthy to delude yourself). So why torture and tax myself? Why play the horn when I know I..."suck".

The reason is because it made me see another aspect of myself. You see, Jews in South Florida are not contiguous - in fact, they are quite a disjointed bunch. I think the official numbers are 650,000; but we have every type of Jew from all over (well, I don't know if we have any Ethiopian Jews). And unlike the New York Jews, they don't seem to interact much outside of their respective communities. Come to think of it, no one else in South Florida does either (the Jamaican community is the same - must be the humidity kills the need to be social). Anyway, here I am living in my shteble. Hardly worried about Jewish suburbanites living in cul-de-sacs in Weston. I'm to busy trying to find cholev Yisrael muenster cheese for a Shavous quiche, hello? But somehow I found a way; many Jews found a way; to work Danny into their lives and make his recovery a priority.

And for me, that is astounding.

Not to paint me as being callous or anything. But I grew up such an "intellectual hard-ass" (please excuse my French!). Yes there was pain and suffering in the world; yes, bad things happen to good people. But I always found a way to 'rationalize' it. Step outside of the emotion. You know that bumper sticker "$h!+ Happens"? Well, I never owned it, but that could have been my mantra.

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I've told a couple people that since I decided that I wanted to be a Torah observant Jew, things have happened that I would have never imagined happening. Not obvious things, but internal things. For example, I always thought that marriage was a hinderance and more trouble than it was worth. You lost your freedom, yeah, who wants that? Besides, wouldn't you get tired of sleeping with the same man for the rest of your life? Another one is haughtiness/conceit. A favorite past time was rolling my eyes at people and looking for an excuse to get away from them. And G-d? I use to think he was out to get me; to make me suffer for some unknown sin I committed as a toddler or something. I was his mistake and he has the nerve to make me suffer for it!

I feel like one of those eggs that had the shell that you would chip away at to get to the chocolate inside (those may be too old school; they probably don't make them anymore). Daniel Wultz chipped away a big hunk of that shell. You can almost see the glimmer of an awesome neshama in there. I am so sure I'm not the only one. As more and more of the pieces of my shell are shed, perhaps I can reciprocate chipping away at the shells of others like Danny and so many others did for me. I try to anyway...

So Danny, I hope to meet you in Olam Habah one day. I'll be a good looker by then, B'ezras Hashem.

Yerushalayim Shel Zahav

In early June, B'ezras Hashem, I will be heading to Eretz Yisrael for the first time in my life; courtesy of the Taglit-Birthright Israel program. It's interesting, because I have known about Birthright for years. While I was Reform, I had no desire to go to Israel anytime soon. Sure I would have like to have seen it; one day. Since becoming acquainted with Torah observant Judaism, my viewpoint changed; albeight not immediately. You see I knew Israelis here in the States. The jet-setter, trendy, super-ambitious/entrepreneurial type. But here I am, learning and living with frume Yidden who seem worlds apart from the club-hopping Israelis that frequent South Beach. How can these divergent people be 'hooked' by the same place?

Of course with exposure, I learned that Jews run the gamut; moreover, religious Jews run the gamut of appearance and lifestyle. As I covered more ground in my siddur I saw the special connection that Jews have always had with Israel. And if I truly desired to become a Jew, then I would also assume this connection as well.

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Just so that I do not mislead anyone, let me state that I am not a blistry-eyed idealist who needs her bubble broken with an update on the current affairs in the Middle East. What I am guilty of is being hopelessly passionate about my desires; and since I am very human, I sometimes desire what is not good for me. This is when I try to ask Hashem to guide my footsteps, and trust that he knows what is best.

Last night on MSNBC I saw a show on homeless families in a particular area of California. (Now, that is reality TV! Don't let me be a TV exec., because I would run shows like this 24-7!) It may sound incredulous, but I related to them very much. They were doing the best they could under terrible circumstances and with every odd stacked against them. They have no home, and hardly no belongings, but each day they wake up, send their children to school, collect a daily meal (or hopefully two), and try to celebrate the holidays however they can. Very similar to the Jews. Jews may have material possessions, live in houses, be quite well off, etc. But outside of Eretz Yisrael, we are essentially 'homeless'. We are at the mercy of the goyishe leaders and systems we live in. On the other hand, Eretz Yisrael is our house; with some very crankerous neighbors and unpleasant tenants - but it is still the home of the Jews.

Far from being the מלכת קדוש intended for the Jews, the present State of Israel has serious issues with forsaking the Torah and switching it with an ethocentrically-based superiority complex. That what I have gathered from the sources I have at my disposal. I could be very wrong...

For many years, I had the dream to live in Florida. True I could not stand the snow, but I think there was more to it than the weather. It sort of fit my attitude. Sunny, pioneering, a tad-laid back, diverse - I saw Florida as a suit tailored made for my taste. Or maybe a car I would look good in. Was life so bad in Pennsylvania? Well, at the time, I thought it was. Looking bad it still was; but due to my change in perspective I also see the good. But let's see how my honeymoon with Florida started to grow sour.

When I moved down here, it was far from being a new atmosphere. 2 years in college and many trips to see my Father made Florida feel like a second home. Note I said "Florida" and not "Miami" because Miami really is an odd-ball in this state...although not for long probably. While there are many qualities of life that get a nice, big, fat, red check mark; there are others that surpass the norm. Every morning when I leave my home and drive to work I see some of the most beautiful specimens of Hashem's creaton. The sun dancing on the aquamarine blue sea; the colorful foilage; the shiny bristling palm trees; even all of the cute little geckos running around. The moisture in the air makes the land feel like it's alive - breathing - vibrant. Gan Eden couldn't have been too far off from Florida (ok, Florida with really good fans & air circulation!).

In fact, there is nothing at all inherently wrong with Miami. But there is something wrong with the human inhabitants of Miami. And isn't this the case just about, oh, everywhere! When I first moved here almost 4 years ago, I was trying to drink in just what was my "new" culture. I had a handsome, well-paid boyfriend with an accent (he was Yugoslavian), a new job lined up, and a new slate from which to build a social network. The only issue with a 'social network' is that it must include people. My boyfriend had lived in Miami for 8 years already and had gone 'cold turkey' from the South Beach mover & shaker scene because of all the "fake" people involved. In fact, he saw in me a perfect opportunity to engage in a deeper relationship that involved conversation, sightseeing, and sharing talents and loves. But just like the weather can change in an instant here, so did we. My job put me in Plantation, FL and it was a hike to South Beach to come more often than 2 or 3 times. Then my ex-boyfriend met up with some old business acquaintences and starting re-investing in real estate. Back came the office parties that would spill over into nightclubs well into the night. He was a recovering alcoholic and professional schmoozer so it started becoming routine for him to rip through $1,000+ per weekend in the clubs. I only went with him once; and was so uncomfortable I wanted to melt right into the cushy seats in the dark club. Both of us quickly noticed that we were no longer on the same page.

I had been in South Florida for less than a year, but it was only a preview of things to come. Hardly any was very encouraging. Mostly all of it just had to do with the pervasive attitude that it is all about "the self". Yes, it is reflected in the lack of attention given to the fine arts, community/volunteer activities, customer service, etc. It's a tangible quality that I can notice when visiting other places. So while South Florida is definitely not all bad; it's feels very much like a sojourn...

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Hmmm...where was I? I guess I was just rambling a bit. Perhaps it's just another aspect of learning what it means to be a Jew; to be eternally nagged by the fact that as long as you are outside of Eretz Yisrael, you are never really home...

Is It Now Easy To Be Frum?

Downstairs from my office, there is a convienance store. Really, it's the most unfortunate thing ever because if you get hungry for a candy bar, you shell out almost $1.00 for it when if you walk down the street it can be had for 60¢ . Yesterday I noticed these Twizzlers wannabe candies. They came in all sorts of fruit flavors. I was so curious as to rather they tasted good or not. So I commenced on "the hunt for the hechshure" (which is a scanning of the package all savvy, grocery-shopping Jews can complete in 2 seconds flat). "Boom!" I found the all important (U) and those babies were all mine!

When I first started keeping kosher I was weary of grocery shopping (ok, I still am - but for other reasons besides kashrus!). Any processed food would need certification. I guess I would be living on apples and carrots for the rest of my days! But to my surprise, many of my "staples" were already certified! Miracle Whip, Country Crock, Triscuits, Honey Bunches of Oats, Philadelphia Cream Cheese (ok, now everyone knows how unhealthy my diet is!). In fact the only items I lost out on were Pop Tarts, Doritos, and many Jamaican products (the island has no Rabbis to certify anything made there; oh well). Needless to say, my menu is still as varied as ever.

But I've found that when others here that you keep kosher they sort of shake their heads in pity at you. Ok, so it's not that bad, but pretty close. For example, sometimes my office will bring goodies for morning meetings. The first time around, my manager asked what "kosher stuff" could she buy. I explained the symbols, and that the package needed to not be opened. She came with those Kedem tea biscuits. She admitted that she was nervous she would get the wrong thing, so she just stuck with the "Jewish food" section of the supermarket. Oh and I was sooo gearing up for some Pepperidgefarm cookies!

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Ok, so buying kosher is not too tough (keeping your home kosher is more difficult in my opinion). Let's check out another myth; businesses. Is it just me, or has something changed drastically in the last 20 years? When I was a little girl, if you went out on Sundays, everything was closed. Now true, I didn't grow up in a big city like Miami - but still. Back then there were no 24 hour Wal-Marts or supermarkets that were still going strong at 10pm. There's a new Bank Atlantic that opened up by my home that is open 7 days a week. It's like the notion of Sunday being a "day of rest" in America's urban centers is a foggy memory. Staying open for business on Sundays has almost become a selling point.

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Ah and what about clothing? It's very true that it is still a bit tough to walk into clothing stores in South Florida and find anything close to tzniut. I have found that going to "Plain Jane" stores like K-Mart, Fashion Bug, and Marshalls you will have better luck finding basics such as white blouses, black skirts and simply-designed shoes. For Shabbos/Yom Tov wear, I will hit up one of the Jewish clothing stores (I can't really afford to buy casuals there!). But when I get tired of hitting the pavement and burning gas and time; I just go online! In a 1/2, I can peruse 50 different merchants to find a maroon long-sleeved, high necked shirt that I need to match the skirt I picked up from the Thrift Store for $8. Sure beats investing in a sewing machine and altering or making your own!

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Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying that it is easy to live a Torah-observant life anywhere, anytime. But I just wonder... Of course, the Jews have had to make due wherever they were, whenever the era was (if not then they just assimilated). My feelings could be off base; I've only been trying this on for about a year and a half. But half of the methods I use to handle being shomer mitzvot were not available 10, 15, 20 years ago. I mean, before ATMs came on the scene, how on earth did Yidden ever get their hands on cash!