Doses of Brilliance

This past Sunday, I went to the Pittsburgh Kollel to hear Dr. Esther Shkop speak about Women & Tefillah in the Torah (that was not the exact title of the presentation; that I do not recall). Dr. Shkop was a wonderful, dynamic speaker and teacher. She was able to present the subject along with the appropriate sources and present it in a package all wrapped up with feeling and conviction. I enjoy using and hearing either scenarios and analogies that help to relay a point, and Dr. Shkop utilized these tools very well. There were many times that she had me on the brink of tears. Other times she won over my respect for her frank discussions of the faulty logic that causes frum women to feel inadequate. The entire time, she was completely convincing that she was speaking to us out of true concern for all of us and our self-image.

I would quite honestly feel uncomfortable and unjustified trying to summarize her speech on here. I really do feel that the bulk of it was for women only; but it did highlight many flaws in the thinking of some about (or in) contemporary frum society. That a woman's greatest responsibility is to help her husband reproduce; that a woman's exemption from time-bound mitzvot is some sort of signal that her tefillah is not important; and why women need to give and receive love. Refuting or confirming these things is not as easy as you think. I fully appreciate women as gifted as Dr. Shkop to articulate the finer points of what being a religious Jewish woman means.

One thing that this perilious economy has brought to light is that resources within the Jewish community are limited. B"H, when I started on this path, things were going well. I was able to pick up not only a weekly Hebrew class, but classes in halacha and chumash for about $45 per semester at the Aish HaTorah Center in Florida. Now they are charging per class and membership has also increased. I don't think the prices are prohibitive, but it gets your attention. So now more than ever, it is not so common to encounter shirium for women. What I realized on Sunday is just how important it is to have learned individuals speak to Jewish women about various issues from time to time. To give us the chizuk to stand firm in regards to what we believe in.

On Sunday, I also picked up the book Spice and Spirit, which I did not bother to purchase before. But I figured that if I am getting ready to venture out on my own, I may as well start collecting cookbooks. This cookbook is produced by the Lubavitch Women's Organization and contains a lot of information in regards to halachah and Jewish living. It is interesting in that in the section on candelighting, they talk about the custom of women lighting from the age of 3; and women waiting until they get married to light 2 candles (I guess before that they light only one). No other hints or discussions are made regarding the Ashkenazi minhagim in regards to women lighting candles (married woman of the household lights either two or two + # of children; single men/women living on their own also light two). If I were truly brand new to Torah observance, I would find this section (and others) pretty confusing in that you don't yet know how to discern halacha from minhagim. Worse yet, you don't know why you even do certain things. This can most definitely happen. I remember taking a shiur on kashrus and Shabbos cooking, and the rabbi discussed the concept of using a blech. It is preferable that a blech have a lip on it that folds down and covers the controls on the stove when it is set down. If not, you still need to cover the controls (like with foil). Also the whole purpose of the blech is to cover the flame. So if you have a glass-top stove, you don't need a blech (in fact, if you use one, you run the risk of ruining your cooktop). Yet several women with glass-top stoves were consulting the rabbi about getting a blech for their stove.

Invariably, observing the mitzvot are key to being Torah observant; but you can't just do to do. You have to actively seek out the reasons why you are doing. Not for justification, but to more fully embrace your actions. You also need yiras h'shmayim. This filters out most of the negative feelings that a person can harbor in regards to the lifestyle of a Torah observant Jew. This gives depth and meaning to your life and actions. How easy it is for Jewish women to get so caught up in child rearing, preparations for Shabbos & Yontif, the particulars of tznius, and social matters that we lose sight of our capacity for spirituality.

Memories Still Standing

For a few weeks, I have been going around taking pictures of synagogues in the area (the picture above is the inside of my shul, Gemilas Chesed). Some of them are still open and active; some are churches (or other things); some are closed. I am not doing this because I like photography (if fact I don't know the first thing about taking pictures). Instead I am doing it to have some sort of insight, even if it is a souveneir photograph, of the Jewish community that is hosting me. That includes that community's past. When people tell stories of certain things, certain events, I like to have a tangible tie to those stories. Of course there are some synagogues, for which there are no stories for which anyone I know can offer to me. But that is ok, they say a picture can tell a thousand words.

Another reason why I am doing this is because there is very little information about these synagogues online. Even to get the teeniest bit of written information is hard, much less a picture. Some of the synagogues I had to find via word of mouth (they have long been removed from directories). Plus I don't always have free time to just go out driving around (many times I feel like I am on a treasure hunt). But the album will be a work in progress. I am as interested in what turns up as anyone.

Back to Basics

This past Shabbos, I went to Pittsburgh -- for what I think was my first Shabbos there. It was nice...the weather was great. The family I stayed by was Lubavitch, and it was interesting to note the differences in minhagim; small...but interesting. Apparently they have benchers in nusach Ari (I never know that) and hold differently about the obligation in shalosh suedas.

I went to services at Poale Zedeck on my own. The Lubavitch Center would have been too far of a walk; besides, PZ davened in a format I was used to. It was my first time in PZ and it reminded me of how a shul would be in Europe. Not that I've ever been to Europe. Also I don't know exactly what gave it that feel. The ezrat nashim was in a balcony; I had been in plenty of those before. However the main sanctuary itself was also on the second floor, so you had this sensation that you were in a tower. Needless to say, I would not have been able to manage if I still had my cane or walker!

They had a visiting Rabbi who spoke who is a candidate to be the new rabbi of PZ. To my surprise, there were a few people there that I knew, and they told me that this was their third candidate. They also remarked (when I say "they" I mean women...so I do not know if they will be able to vote or not) that they aren't sure who will be selected. Apparently the shul has changed a bit since the last rabbi came through. Although they are still Modern Orthodox there has been a "shift to the right" among the congregation. Now that is something I have not heard to much of since I left FL! I don't even know what "Modern Orthodox" even means any more. Hashkafically I do, but when someone says they are Modern Orthodox, I find that it just leaves the door wide open really.

I am still studying halachos brachos. It's much more intense and involved than I anticipated; like by 250%. I may just print out the entire Aish HaTorah Pathways course on the subject and use that as my "cliff notes".